Hold You Down
by Lovely Deer
Summary: [AU] Castle has always been the one to prevent Beckett from doing things she shouldn't do, her love for him keeping her from irrational choices and suicide missions, but what if that's not the case anymore? What if their heart wrecking relationship takes a sharp turn? [Song-fic, short one shot filled with Casckett angst, definitively no happy ending in sight.]


**Author's Note: So here's a little warning, this is definitively not a happy Casckett fanfiction, but I heard this song and I thought, why not write something short and angsty? Because I want to start writing Castle fanfiction and I still have to get some experience on how to work and toy with the characters.**

**Where exactly it's set, I actually don't know. That's why I put it AU. But it has something to do with Beckett hunting someone dangerous, going on a mission that could and probably will cost her life, and Castle trying to keep her there, talk her out of it. But we all know how stubborn Beckett is, so let's see where this goes, shall we? And again,_ not a happy ending story. _But enjoy it anyway.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the characters. **

**So I had to change this story some, because it's not allowed to post song lyrics. But the song that inspired this fic is Hold You Down by Jaymes Young.**

* * *

His face was twisted in a mixture of disbelief, hurt and even a little anger as he stared at her, the look on his face almost unbearable for her to hold. He had to understand, right? This wasn't her fault at all, was it? What could she do about her feelings and emotions? That was nothing you could control.

They had tried, and it didn't work out the way they imagined it to.

But he was genuinely hurt, his heart aching as he held her eyes. "This is all I needed, I guess." He spat out quietly, his voice laced in a poisonous tone. This was all he needed to let go, to realize that he deserved better than this, she had screwed his heart and that had been his wake up call to let the bird out of the golden cage that was their love.

After everything he gave her. But they were dysfunctional, they really didn't work, they broke each other, burning through each other's hearts like acid, wrecking what was left of their good memories.

Some people just weren't meant to be, Castle realized. No matter how hard he tried to make her happy, all she got was sadder.

* * *

Just like the men before him in Kate's life, he had to leave now. She had kicked him out, not letting him close and that was what was ruining them, the walls that she had build around her heart, not letting him close enough to fix her, not even giving him a chance to attempt and repair what was broken inside of her.

And it would be better for him to go and never turn around. She didn't want no second chances.

She was a mystery, an enigma to solve, but no one had the skills to unwrap the mystery and they fold themselves up into her tempting, but emotion wrecking aura on their way to the solution. She lured them in, she always did, and they stayed until they noticed what they did to her, before deciding to leave her to herself. The woman that was stronger than anybody on this planet would be better off without them in her life.

No one she had to let in, no one to care for, no one to look after, so no one she could destroy.

* * *

"I'm not going to stick by your side if you don't want me to." Castle gasped out, his feet taking a step closer to Beckett involuntarily, pressing down on his point to show her he was serious. He wouldn't keep her here if she wanted to go off like a bomb, wanted to risk everything they had, including her own life after he had saved it so many times. For what? Just so she could throw it over board again and stalk into the next misery he'd have to pull her out of.

"Castle." Her voice was barely a whimper, her tone hitting a weak spot inside of his heart, the spot that had been the motivation to give up his own life for this woman, the spot that itched when she was in danger and that moved him without thinking twice about it when she needed him. It might as well be his love and worry for her, deep inside his heart, this part of him that wanted to hold on to her, be there for her, no matter in what ways she'd ruin him further.

But everything in his head, every intelligent, rational nerve of him screamed to let her go, even after everything they'd been to. That she didn't appreciate his everything and that he had to let her go on whatever suicide mission she yearned to go on, that he couldn't hold her down, that is woman was untameable and not worth his life.

* * *

"No, you can't do this to me." He muttered, remembering the many times they had kissed and thinking of the comfort it had given him to hold her, to know her save. How could she not understand this? How could she give away what they had so easily?

It was because she became selfish with him. He offered too much and she took without saying _thank you._ He had been too easy for her all this time, or at least that was what he was thinking, if it was true, he'd probably never really know.

"Don't make me choose.." Beckett whispered, her expression numb, hiding the sadness and pain underneath the surface, fighting hard to keep sobbing a shaky voice and tears at bay as she placed her hand over his heart, wishing he'd just jump into her with this one too, like he always did. No questions, just a leap into the darkness for her.

His too warm and sweaty palm covered her hand on his chest, taking her attention and making her look up directly into his eyes as well. "You won't have to." He replied, his voice growing cold.

* * *

This was the last time, Katherine Beckett had seen him. There were no more Nikki Heat books, no more Castle for her, no more nothing. He had left her standing in his loft and disappeared from New York City for good.

* * *

**Author's Note: So, please tell me if any of the characters came off as too OOC or something. Just share your thoughts with me on this one. **

**Thanks for reading, much love.**

**I'm so sorry that I had to take the lyrics out.**


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